Due to health problems as I mentioned before I have gained a lot of weight. My mom has tried to talk to me about this issue and explain that it is the sickness and that I shouldn't feel bad about it. Of course it isn't that easy for me. I asked her once, should I wear a sign on my back that says I'm fat because I have health problems? I know that sounds funny or lack there of. I didn't know any other way to get her to understand that yes I understand that but its embarrassing to see people that I haven't seen in a long time (I know what they are thinking) or even just going to wal-mart, target etc. I hate going to eat at a restaurant as I feel like everyone is thinking "she obviously doesn't need to eat." I don't know how to overcome this. I know its psychological and self talk but I'm just not sure how to stop it. The last month or so I have been determined to move on with my relationship with our Lord and Savior, and try to focus on getting healthy. Low and behold the neighbor comes over and asks if I'm expecting again, UGH~! No I'm not and I cant have babies for that matter. I of course don't go into detail and explain that I have had some health issues that have caused me to gain weight. Anyone have any advice? I am going to try dieting yet again to see if I can start losing it yet! I have tried multiple times and have failed. I'm trying not to think of it that way though. I'm trying to focus on the future and stay positive. If you know me then you know that that doesn't come easy for me, but with the love and help of the Lord, I am determined! Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.
On another note, I was really hopeful with starting these new herbal vitamins and minerals and coming off of the prescription medications. Unfortunately the "feeling good" lasted about 2 weeks. I don't feel as bad as I used to however it went from feeling considerably better to a lot worse in a hurry. It seems that EVERYTHING seems to work for about 2 weeks and then I'm back to the same old same old. I'm kind of at a loss, I don't know what to do from here on out. I don't know what to try. I am currently trying for financial assistance through the hospital, so maybe I could search farther into what is going on.
I want to end on a lighter note, so I thought I'd share this. I'm so thankful for my amazing, happy and healthy daughter. She is definitely a gift from God! She tells me everyday how much she loves me and that I am not fat. I am perfect in her eyes. I love her so much and cant imagine life without her. My husband has also tried to let me know that I am still gorgeous and that he doesn't see me any different then the day we got married. He is so amazing. He tells me every single day how beautiful I am, even on my good days! I just cant tell you have blessed and grateful I am.
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| The love of my life and I. He truly is my rock. |
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| My amazing little girl! I love you sissy!! |
